[Air-l] Re: email destroying friendships?

Maximilian C. Forte mcforte at kacike.org
Sat Apr 26 21:43:07 PDT 2003


This is tangentially related, more pertinent to a theme heading of "email
PREVENTING friendships". In some cases, without knowing or remembering that
e-mail posted to a list may in fact be publicly archived for all Net users
to read, members of a list may write in casual terms on complex or sensitive
topics, or write in the heat of the moment. For months afterwards, in one
case I know of, the individual in question continued to receive hate mail
from perfect strangers who had come across the message after doing a Google
search on a particular topic.

This may have certain f2f parallels, but I don't think the "damage" can be
as enduring, for "ordinary" individuals, as it is on the Internet.

Cheers,

Max.
----- Original Message -----
From: <stuszyn at bgnet.bgsu.edu>
To: <air-l at aoir.org>
Sent: Sunday, April 27, 2003 11:44 AM
Subject: [Air-l] Re: email destroying friendships?


> >--The permanence or relatively long-lasting imprinting of words can
> >sometimes affect people more deeply than words uttered in passing.
>
> While I dislike anything that priviledges f2f contact over electronic, I
> do have to agree with this, especially since email means different
> things to different users. I've known people who compulsively save every
> communication they receive. This can lead to problems when an email
> written in the heat of a moment comes back to haunt the writer a few
> weeks later when calm has been restored (I tend to act as though
> anything I put out on the net in any form can always come back at me
> later). Similarly, a political discussion gone bad in person can perhaps
> fade from memory more readily than an email which can be saved and
> reread over and over.
>
> Something I keep thinking when I read studies about CMC in relationships
> (or in any arena) is that the studies aren't long-term, at least not
> yet. I believe that long term studies of use of CMC in relationships
> would end up yielding results that match up fairly well with f2f
> relationships. While email and chat and so forth can make communication
> easier to do/require less physical effort, the technology itself does
> not maintain a relationship. No matter what form you use to communicate
> with another person, you both have to work to keep it going. :)
>
> ST
>
>
> "The right use of language, respect for it, care and attention in
> engaging in it, implies - demands, makes real - morality, and ethics.
> The right use of language leads to respect, care and attention for
> others. Language is a moral activity."
>
>
>
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