[Assam] Fwd: P'njaab Airways

[Dilip/Dil Deka]

I have to share this one with the Assamnetters.
  Dilip


      Thought you will enjoy this one.

   
  P'njaaab Airways : IN-FLIGHT ANNOUNCEMENT 
  
Gud marning, Ladies and Gen'lemen. P'rajee aur Behnjee. Sat Sri 'kaal.

On behalf of Captaan Balbir Singh 'Bobby', this is your Flight Supervisor
Banta Singh "Bunty" welcoming to you on the P'njaaabAirways flight no.
9211 (Nau Do Gyaraah) to Ludhiana. We apalogize for the two-day delay in
taking off, b'cause the sun was not shining brightly in the fog. And we
know that the sun does not shine in the night.

Landing in Ludhiana is not dafinite, but with good luck we can be
landing d'rectly in your v'llage. P'njaab Airways has exc'llaant record
for safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the fully
trained taarrists and hijackers are afraid to fly with us.


I am pleased to 'nounce that starting this year over 90% of our p'ssaingers
have reached to their dest'nation, for the rest 10%, the P'njaab
Airwaysstaff has lots of experience for consoling the next-of-kin.


Our Hostess Bubbly Kaur will be haippy to brief you on our
out-of-court settlement policies.If engines are too noisy, on p'ssainger
request, we can turn them off for comfart, but your flight will become
late and you may become the late also.For our religious p'ssaingers, we are
the only airline who can help you to contact God at once.


In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure, Holy Books will be
quickly distributed. We regret that today's in-flight movie will not be
shown as we could not record it from the tallyvision due to power cut.But
we will be flying right naxt to Air India, where their movie,can be seen
from the right side cabin windows.


These windows have been opened for your viewing convenience. For
p'ssaingers on left side, we have put binoculars under the seat. If
AirIndia flight is again cancelled, then for your in-flight
ent'tainment, our hostesses Bubbly Kaur & Cuckoo Kaur will do the Bhangra
with flight stewards Pappu and Tappu. Oye, Balle Balle!!


Your in-flight Menu has a choice of Chicken Tikka Masala, Tandoori Fish,
Dal makhani, unlimited P'ronthas and Lassi. There is a Half charge for Red
Label Whiskey served from Black Label bottles. Patiala pegs will be served
only on Patiala flights.


As per safety rules, smoking is not allowed on all P'njaab Airways
flights over P'njaab. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early
warning system on the engines. Please to read the 'structions on the
Safety Card in seat pocket in your front side. It is not a hand fan. The
P'ssainger behind you must read the card in your backside.


Life jackets are placed under your seats for emergency water landings on
any of our 5 rivers. Do not use life jackets on the land. Kindly keep your
seat in upright position for take-off & landing. Please be seated first
and then fasten you r seatbelts. We are about to take-off.


Thank you once again for flying with P'njaab Airways 



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