[Assam] What a shame! YOUR Qs ANSWERED IN CAPS

[Chan Mahanta]

Hello Nayan:

Greeting from St. Louis, in the heartland of America.

Glad to make your acquaintance. Nice to know that you are a 
practising lawyer  and that too in the high court. Often we play 
'baam-ukil' here, without anyone being able help us with questions. 
Now we know we can speak to a real-life lawyer to help us out. Sorry, 
but I don't think we will be able to keep you on retainer :-).


>Its not true that I/we have any disagreement with the 
>political >viewpoint of anyone. Anyone can have his/her personal 
>viewpoint on >any subject.

*** Glad to know you realize it. I was almost afraid you too were in 
the same boat with Jyoti, from your note of support for his position.

It is OK to have different views and not to agree with someone. But 
when we differ or oppose, we also have an obligation to explain why. 
Just telling someone that she is wrong, does not go anywhere. Because 
why discuss and debate is to try and persuade others, and not merely 
to assert our own righteousness. And it is patently rude to go attack 
someone personally, directly or indirectly for any heartburn that 
their views may cause us :-).


>But the very specific point that I would like to point out is that 
>- >The wrong decisions that lead to the present socio political 
>scenerio >of Assam/Asom/Axom..... were not taken by this present 
>generation.

*** That is a loaded gun you aim here Nayan :-).

	A: What WRONG decision are you referring to? And WHO took
	those decisions?

	B: And if these decisions were taken by your 'pitamoh' ( ancestors)
	 :-), and they span generations, it tells me these might be societal
	problems that none of us can just wash-off saying you did not
	take part in it. I guess you could, but obviously to no avail. Would I
	be wrong to conclude that?

>So I think the remedy should also started by the same Generation 
>who >took the right decisions to make this land Xonar Axom, and if 
>they >can't then let us help.

*** IF the previous generation created these problems you refer to, 
why are they NOT helping resolve it? But more importantly, is your 
society being run by that previous generation only, or are you, the 
present generation, a part of that same society and thus a part of 
the solution?

I ask, because I cannot imagine the adults of a society like 
yourselves can remain outside of solutions to their societal needs. 
If your previous generation is keeping yours outside of its 
governance, then YOU, my friend, need nothing less than a revolt to 
take your rightful place in running your present and shaping your 
future. And you all have no excuses for not being involved, if you 
live in the much touted 'liberal democracy' of India.


>In Assam net I have come across some great discussions and 
>really >great ideas. And maybe this forum would go a long way in 
>solving the >problems that persist in this land.

*** I know you say that because you want to be generous :-) to us 
netters. But if by some chance you are serious, then you are 
harboring extremely unrealistic expectations which will lead to 
nothing but damaging disappointments.

On the other hand however, yes, this net can indeed facilitate a 
dialogue, a discussion and a debate  in describing the issues and 
developing solution scenarios for what confronts Assam. Yes 
occasionally we might even be able to offer an idea or lend a helping 
hand. But you all in Assam alone can and will have to resolve your 
society's problems.


>But then nothing will happen if we are thrown 
>out/discouraged, >because we are ones who will face tomorrow and 
>will carry the torch >forward.


*** While I entirely agree with the latter above, I cannot imagine 
WHO or WHY anyone, anyone at all, would wish to or attempt to either 
discourage your involvement, much less push you aside or throw you 
out. No one I have ever known, even the most stridently iconoclastic 
of NRAs I have known, would do any such thing.

That however, is entirely different from giving or withholding active 
support for whatever one may put forth.

Not that you have brought this up, but you all must remember few very 
important thing about us ex-pats, because I can sense the underlying 
assumptions in the various exchanges of recent days:

	Even though we lead a reasonably comfortable and secure life, by
	and large, our sense of vulnerability is far higher than the
	average, because few if any of us have had the safety net of
	an extended family and friends unlike our counterparts back in
	Assam do. Therefore most of us immigrants, have always had
	to weigh our involvement in whatever we do against how it
	might impact our financial security. But it will change as our children
	grow up, raise their families and they become independent.

	The above is exactly why you see so few entrepreneurs amongst us. Most
	of us are wage earners, but with a degree of security that comes
	with it.

	There is a major misconception amongst our friends and families
	in Assam that us NRAs are hugely wealthy. Yes a few may be, but so
	few that it could not be applied as a rule. They are reasonably
	set, but by no means wealthy by local standards. As such it is
  	unrealistic to expect large or significant charitable outlays
	from them. A couple of hundred dollars for this and that is different.
	But to expect large outlays, even for eminently worthwhile causes
	is simply unrealistic.

	Time too is a precious commodity. It was more so when our children
	were growing up and both parents were/are in the work-force. You
	would not believe what we went thru with pre-school childcare
	issues in our younger days. Therefore I can empathize with what
	others are going thru now.

	Ours also is a small community. We all have held the same ideals
	as you younger folks do now about helping others. And we continue
	to do that, but with a more mature and realistic approach. The
  	bright-eyed optimism of unfettered young adults in prosperous
	societies with security and safety ready to change the face of
	Assam with our new found empowerment  soon gave way to the stark
	realities of raising a family and securing their futures. We
	attempted to do so many different  things for Assam! I personally
	led a number efforts at raising funds for charitable work, some
	right here in Assamnet, sometimes inviting taunts and
	boos from some of our less gifted compatriots :-). But one thing
	I quickly found out was that this small group of NRAs is NOT
	like a well that could never dry up.
	People give once, twice and may even three times. But comes a time
	only the complete fool will keep approaching the same people, again
	and again. The well does dry up.

The lesson here is this: Charity will not deliver Assam to the 
promised land. Assam must create the opportunities for itself by 
managing its above average resources for ALL its people. It is the 
only way!

To that end good luck and god-speed to you all. And do count on us to lend
a hand when we can, in areas we can.

Best,

dada















At 10:23 PM +0530 10/13/06, Nayanjyoti Medhi wrote:
>Mahanta Da,
>
>*** It is not a secret that yours, Jyoti's, Nayan's , Rajib's and a 
>lot many others' angst in assamnet is rooted in your disagreements 
>with the political viewpoints of those such as yours truly. 
>--------Its not true that I/we have any disagreement with the 
>political viewpoint of anyone. Anyone can have his/her personal 
>viewpoint on any subject. But the very specific point that I would 
>like to point out is that - The wrong decisions that lead to the 
>present socio political scenerio of Assam/Asom/Axom..... were not 
>taken by this present generation. So I think the remedy should also 
>started by the same Generation who took the right decisions to make 
>this land Xonar Axom, and if they can't then let us help. In Assam 
>net I have come across some great discussions and really great 
>ideas. And maybe this forum would go a long way in solving the 
>problems that persist in this land. But then nothing will happen if 
>we are thrown out/discouraged, because we are ones who will face 
>tomorrow and will carry the torch forward. Dada, let the people 
>unite, remove the generation gap. Then maybe someday ..........
>
>
>
>
>Regards
>
>Nayan
>
>
>
>On 10/13/06, Chan Mahanta 
><<mailto:cmahanta at charter.net>cmahanta at charter.net> wrote:
>
>Hi Momy:
>
>
>Thanks for your response. I am delighted to see a young Oxomiya 
>woman holding her ground and providing leadership and courage to 
>others like Jyoti Das and Nayan Medhi  for example in a forum such 
>as assamnet. That is MY kind of an Oxomiya; courageous, proud and 
>willing to take a stand for what she believes in :-). So all powers 
>to you Momy.
>
>
>
>
>Having said that, I think it is important to point out out what was 
>wrong about the OPINIONS that you delivered in your farewell note/s:
>
>
>*** First off, your disappointments about assamnetters and assamnet 
>were indeed rooted on an unexpressed assumption that it is a forum 
>which ought to discuss
>only projects and issues such as what you hold dear, to the 
>exclusion of issues that others might find more interesting. No 
>doubt yours and others' like yourself who expressed such sentiments 
>are GOOD and laudable issues/projects.
>But it does not mean, in any way shape or form, that other issues 
>could not or should not be pursued at the same time.
>
>
>*** It is not a secret that yours, Jyoti's, Nayan's , Rajib's and a 
>lot many others' angst in assamnet is rooted in your disagreements 
>with the political viewpoints of those such as yours truly. You, 
>just like anybody else here, are entitled to your views. But it 
>would have been better if you could express that forthrightly, 
>instead of finding other reasons to vent your frustrations. That is 
>what I alluded to as the "Urohi gosor wr onyo korbaat", which 
>roughly translated means that the real root of the disappointments 
>are different from what was presented as.
>
>
>*** Your assumptions about the 'older generation' of expatriate 
>Oxomiyas as a self-centered lot, unwilling to help others is a 
>rather shallow and ignorant one. It is a typically unenviable 
>Indian/Kharkhowa trait of making broad brush
>judgements about a whole class of people based on scanty sampling.
>
>
>*** What *I* do or have done, either as charity or as public 
>service, is MY business. I don't need anybody's approval or 
>judgement about its adequacy. Besides, it is neither about ME, nor 
>you, nor Rini Kakati, whom you have singled out as a villain :-). 
>That is why I shall not speak about it here.
>
>
>*** It is also true that as laudable as charitable efforts are, they 
>are merely
>outlets for salving one's guilt, and are inadequate vehicles for 
>improving Assam's lot.
>
>
>Personally I have no need to resort to charitable efforts to soothe 
>my feelings of guilt. The burden of my guilt is far less than most I 
>know. But I have nothing against those who do.
>
>
>*** I do have a right to use the words I do to characterize opinions 
>of others, including 'naive', just as you do. But I use words 
>judiciously and carefully, and only when I can back them up.
>
>
>If you would like to know why I used the word naive, let me know, I 
>will be pleased to explain :-).
>
>
>  >NOT TRYING TO PROVE ANYTHING.
>
>
>*** Not true. The haughtiness with which you dismissed assamnet, and 
>thus its many participants, was a poor display of your own 
>self-importance and self-image. While you are entitled to it, others 
>don't need to accept it without a word :-).
>
>
>  >I won't go into details now(YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME IF YOU WANT 
>TO), but if you >would like for me to, I will be pleased to take 
>them up for discussion at a >later time.(WHY PRIVATE..IT STARTED IN 
>A PUBLIC FORUM, KEEP IT THAT WAY)>
>
>
>*** I don't get into private debates about public issues.
>
>
>
>
>  >(TALK AND TALK AND TALK SO THAT BY THE TIME I AM OF YOUR AGE, I 
>WILL SHARE MY >OPINION WITH A YOUNGER MEMBER IN THE EXACT SAME WAY 
>AS YOU HAVE DONE).
>
>
>*** Discussions/debates and action are not mutually exclusive of 
>each other. Both can happen at the same time. Assamnet is NOT an 
>action group, never has been, never will be. So if you came here 
>with the expectation that it will be a platform for launching 
>ACTIONS, while entirely possible ( I have personally led such 
>efforts in the past and more than once), is not at all a given and 
>not a realistic expectation. That *I*  have learnt from my nearly 12 
>years in assamnet. But the difference between you and I is that I 
>did NOT leave in a huff, because I could not interest others in what 
>I consider worthwhile or important. When I failed, it was due to my 
>inability to communicate and persuade. And when we succeeded ( yes 
>we did too) it was because others did participate and contribute.
>
>
>That is what I and Ram too attempted to point out to you, but 
>unsuccessfully. No doubt because you already knew everything you 
>needed to :-) about assamnet.
>
>
>
>
>  >WELL THAN POINT ME TOWARDS THE RIGHT DIRECTION, DONT ASK ME TO 
>ARGUE, DEBATE >AND DISCUSS)
>
>
>*** It is not my place to teach someone like you Momy.I was merely 
>attempting to point out what was missing from your assessments and 
>verdicts. I do however serve as a teacher to those who learn from 
>what I point out, just as all  those others from whom *I* have 
>learnt so much over a decade and more.
>
>
>In fact I can, without any hesitation what-so-ever, declare that I 
>have learnt MORE about Assam (and India  too) from this forum than 
>anywhere else in my entire life, in-spite of the fact that I grew up 
>in what is essentially  Assam's heartland. And I know I am the 
>better for it.
>
>
>Assamnet is, without a doubt, the most important forum for Assam and 
>the Oxomiya identity that has developed in this IT age. And the 
>credit for it goes to Prof. Jugal Kalita,Prof. Deep Medhi and the 
>people who contribute to its existence and expansion thru their 
>participation.
>
>
>
>
>  >AND AM NOT AT THE LEAST INTERESTED IN  ALL YOUR OPINIONS ABOUT ME 
>( ESP. MR >MAHANTA)..
>
>
>***  But the opinions that *I* have expressed  are a RESULT of the 
>opinions that you expressed and implied Momy.  I do not go about 
>finding ways to express opinions of others in this net or anywhere 
>else. But I do speak out when I find reasons to take issue with 
>others'.
>
>
>
>
>Another long one here. Nice to have spoken to you. Wish you the best 
>on all your efforts, personal as well as societal.
>
>
>
>
>cm
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>At 4:19 PM +0100 10/12/06, Momy Saikia wrote:
>
>>Hi Momy (HELLO MR MAHANTA):
>>
>>
>>I was disappointed to read your note on the disappointments of your
>>own (YOU SHOULD BE AND EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T APPRAISE 
>>AN YOUTH'S OPINION).
>>
>>Allow me to share a little observation of mine, with the hope that
>>you will take a moment of your precious time to ponder(I ALWAYS 
>>HAVE TIME FOR ANY CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM AS ITS ONE OF THE REASONS 
>>BEHIND MY DEVELOPMENT):
>>Expectations is the mother of all disappointments!" (WELL IF YOU 
>>ASK ME...EXPECTATION IS THE MOTHER OF ACHIEVEMENT)..... Is it 
>>catchy or
>>what? (ITS DEGRADING THE TERM FOR ME SO NOT CATCHY AT ALL SIR) 
>>Remember you heard it here first :-)( I NEVER HEARD OF IT AND EVEN 
>>IF I DID, I WOULDN'T MAKE SENSE OF IT BECAUSE THESE PROVERBS ARE 
>>OUTCOME OF SOMEONE'S EXPERIENCE NOT MINE).
>>
>>>
>>>
>>>The point is that you had expectations of assamnetters (NEVER DID, 
>>>THATS YOUR PRESSUMPTION); does not matter if they are realistic, 
>>>meaningful, useful, or otherwise(ANY INTELLIGENT BEING WOULD AGREE 
>>>THAT TAKING AN ACTION TO HELP SOMEONE ISN'T UNREALISTIC, NON 
>>>MEANINGFULL OR USELESS). And since those were not met (TRUE), you 
>>>are leaving the forum (LEAVING THE FORUM BECAUSE, I WOULD RATHER 
>>>INVEST TIME IN ACTIONS THAN DISCUSSIONS WHICH LEADS ME NOWHERE BUT 
>>>RESULTS IN RESENTMENT TOWARDS DIFFERENT PEOPLE OR GOVT IN THE 
>>>END), in a huff (WELLCOME TO THE 21st CENTURY, IF YOU NEED 
>>>SOMETHING DONE THAN DO IT NOW),
>>>
>waving your own virtues(CAUSE I BELIEVE IN THEM UNLIKE MOST OF YOU), 
>imagined or real(ABSOLUTELY REAL AND SO I AM ABLE TO PUT THEM INTO 
>ACTIONS),
>for others to see and go (ACTUALLY TO IRK MINDS LIKE YOU...THE 
>POSITIVE OUTCOME OF MY MAIL IS THAT SOME PEOPLE HAVE MAILED ME IN 
>PERSON OFFERING HELP TO BUILD A SITE...BUT YOU AGAIN TOOK TIME TO 
>WRITE ME A PAGE FULL OF YOUR OPINION ABOUT ME AND WANTING A DEBATE 
>OUT OF IT) ( --Wow! What a young lady of action she is (SURE I AM, 
>ELSE I WOULDN'T HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO POINT AT THE "WORDS ONLY" 
>GROUP).
>
>>
>>
>>But I understand ( I SERIOUSLY HOPE YOU DO). Most do(AGAIN I CAN 
>>HOPE THAT THEY DO). We have seen them all here (THIS COULD ONLY 
>>MEAN TO ME THAT YOU HAVE BEEN POSTING YOUR OPINIONS ON THIS SITE 
>>SINCE IT FIRST STARTED). Good news (NOT REALLY CAUSE YOU ARE 
>>WASTING YOUR TIME)
>>however is that you are young (JUST 25, LOT OF EXPECTATIONS YET), 
>>and hopefully still open to learning (I WOULDN'T BE DEVELOPING IF I 
>>WASNT OPEN TO LEARNING)
>>
>new tricks unlike some old us old dogs (DONOT EVER HUMILIATE 
>YOURSELF...NO ONE CALLS YOU THAT , I AM SURE) . And it is NOT a 
>beauty contest (I DO UNDERSTAND SIR, SEEKING HELP FROM YOU GUYS TO 
>HELP OTHERS ISN'T A THOUGHT OF A BEAUTY ONLY...BEAUTY+BRAINS) here 
>-- to prove what a hot-s--t one is or not (NOT TRYING TO PROVE 
>ANYTHING..DO READ MY MAIL ONCE MORE) :-).
>
>
>New tricks? (TRICKS???THOUGHT I WAS STRAIGHT FORWARD) Indeed. You 
>have shown how naive(WITH ALL DUE RESPECT SIR, INSPITE OF YOUR AGE 
>YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO USE "SUCH" WORDS AGAINST ME) you are about some 
>of your assumptions (ASSUMPTIONS GET YOU STARTED WITH ANY PROBLEM), 
>beliefs ( CAUSE I BELEIVE IN THEM) and expectations(TO BE ABLE TO 
>ACHIEVE, I NEED TO EXPECT), from the few notes you posted here(FEW 
>BUT SUBSTANTIAL). I won't go into details now(YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME 
>IF YOU WANT TO), but if you would like for me to, I will be pleased 
>to take them up for discussion at a later time.(WHY PRIVATE..IT 
>STARTED IN A PUBLIC FORUM, KEEP IT THAT WAY)>
>
>But that is nothing new (YOUR OPINION AGAIN SIR). You are not alone 
>in your naivete (I WOULD BE GLAD IF YOU ARE NOT ONE OF MY KIND 
>THAN). We have all been there(HAVE YOU??NOT REALLY OR ELSE YOU WON'T 
>BE STILL A MEMBER OF THE FORUM). Again good news is that we can shed 
>them(NO INTENSIONS OF SHEDDING MY QUALITIES). How? Yes, by 
>talking(TALK AND TALK AND TALK SO THAT BY THE TIME I AM OF YOUR AGE, 
>I WILL SHARE MY OPINION WITH A YOUNGER MEMBER IN THE EXACT SAME WAY 
>AS YOU HAVE DONE). By
>debating, discussing and deliberating and by paying attention(I 
>DON'T HAVE TIME FOR PROLONGED DISCUSSIONS OR DEBATES).
>
>You may ask: But isn't that a waste of time? Aren't you guys just 
>blowing air, accomplishing NOTHING? (THERE YOU GO..SEE YOU FINALLY 
>KNOW ME BETTER)
>
>Well, it would be, IF that is ALL we do (YOU WOULD KNOW BETTER).
>
>See Momy, discussing and debating the issues we do, is NOT mutually 
>exclusive of doing something concrete(WHICH I QUITE WELL UNDERSTOOD 
>EVEN BEFORE YOU MENTIONED).
>
>
>That is what you fail to recognize(MAYBE, THANK U FOR TAKING THE 
>EFFORT TO MAKE ME REALISE). Again, no harm done. You have a lot of 
>time to learn(I AGREE WITH YOU THERE).
>
>Many netters do many things--for their own betterment and for 
>others' too. Not all talk of their actions or contributions. And 
>besides, there is ALWAYS a whole lot more to the persona of these 
>people than what their posts in assamnet may indicate. It will do 
>you good to be aware of that(PLEASE MAKE ME AWARE OF WHAT YOU HAVE 
>DONE SO FAR AS YOU CLAIM TO BE OLD ..YOU HAVE HAD YOUR WHOLE LIFE 
>AHEAD).
>
>What is important to recognize however, is that those who know 
>better, or are expected to know better--people like yourselves, 
>cannot and must not remain smug in your own righteousness, your 
>self-image of a person of action, like you assert(WELL THAN POINT ME 
>TOWARDS THE RIGHT DIRECTION, DONT ASK ME TO ARGUE, DEBATE AND 
>DISCUSS). For if you do, you will be NO DIFFERENT from those who you 
>perceive, albeit on scant and superficial evidence of assamnet 
>posts, to be mere hot-air blowers, or having little to contribute 
>towards what YOU consider meaningful. What is meaningful can come in 
>many, many forms(JUST AN EXAMPLE FROM YOU IS WHAT I AM REQUESTING 
>FOR..BESIDES I CLEARLY MENTIONED TWO CATEGORIES IN MY CONCLUDING 
>LINE..PLEASE READ IT).
>
>Another thing  is that, we know, often a new member would leave in a 
>huff, because netters' criticisms/comments  hurt their sense of what 
>they hold dear(I BELEIVE IN MYSELF AND SOME INDIVIDUAL WHO IS 
>VIRTUALLY KNOW TO ME JUST CANT HURT ME WITH WORDS..IT WILL TAKE YOU 
>LOT MORE): Often myths associated with their realities or their 
>beliefs (AGAIN FIRM BELEIEFS). And being unable or unwilling to 
>articulate a defense of their own values and views, they would cite 
>others' 'egos' or pro-this or anti-that or full-of-hot-air-ness(NOT 
>ME...BUT YOUR MAIL COULD BE A CLASSIC EXAMPLE). This is the 
>quintessential "Urohi-gosor-wrtw-onyo-korbat" syndrome(TAR MANE 
>NUBUJILU). There is only one cure for it: SPEAK UP, defend what you 
>believe(I ALWAYS DO CAUSE I HAVE NO FEAR OR SECOND THOUGHTS..I AM 
>CONFIDENT AND ALWAYS SPEAK OF THINGS I CAN DEFEND IF NECESSARY). You 
>will be surprised, that you CAN educate others(I KNOW THAT). And we 
>will all be the better for it.
>
>Gave you an earful, didn't I :-)?(I CAN ABSORB MORE BUT DONT'T MAKE 
>IT A HABBIT)
>
>Take care(U TOO), and whether you return to assamnet or not,(I WON'T 
>AFTER TODAY) all the best to you and yours(AND TO YOU SIR).
>
>
>cm(MOMY)
>
>
>
>
>
>
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>
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