[Assam] From NY Times

[Chan Mahanta]

Who's Sorry Now?



By MAUREEN DOWD
Published: July 15, 2007

WASHINGTON


There's not much lately that we'd like to import from China.

Certainly not the yummy steamed buns stuffed with shredded cardboard 
soaked in a caustic agent used to make soap. Or the tasty toothpaste 
laced with an antifreeze ingredient. Or the scrumptious seafood with 
a chemical kick. Or those pet foods with kibbles and bits of poison.

But there is one thing made in China we could use: mea culpas of high 
officials.

Zheng Xiaoyu, a top regulator who helped create China's Food and Drug 
Administration, accepted $850,000 in bribes from drug companies and 
became enmeshed in the mistakes that flooded the market with 
dangerous drugs. Before he was executed Tuesday, he wrote a short 
confession titled "How I Look on My Mistakes."

"Thinking back on what has happened these years, I start to see the 
problems clearly," he wrote in prison. "Why are the friends who gave 
me money all the bosses of pharmaceutical companies? Obviously 
because I was in charge of drug administration.

"I am confessing here that I loosened self-discipline, ignored the 
bottom line," he said, adding that he had to confess his mistakes "as 
an act of saving my soul."

We would skip the execution - although perhaps there should be ranch 
arrest for W., and Cheney could do community service passing out 
condoms at Gay Pride festivals.

But it is time for the lethally inept duo running the country to do 
some painstaking self-examination and confession. Just as the 
Communist Party helped the late Mr. Zheng compose his thoughts, I 
volunteer to ghost-write our leaders' self-scrutiny:

"How I Look on My Mistakes," by George W. Bush

The people trusted me with an important position. I didn't live up to 
expectations. I let Dick supersize the executive branch and cast 
Democrats as whiners and traitors. Why did I not suspect that Dick 
might be power-hungry when he appointed himself vice president? Why 
did I let him take over my presidency and fill it up with warmongers? 
I was so afraid to be called a wimp, as my father once was, I allowed 
Dick and Rummy to turn me into a wimp. I should never have allowed 
Dick to conspire with energy lobbyists and steer contracts to 
Halliburton. A tip-off should have been when Dick kept giving himself 
all the same powers that I had. Or when he outed that pretty lady spy.

If only I had kept my promise to go after the thugs who attacked us 
on 9/11, because now I've made Osama and Al Qaeda stronger. I know my 
false claim about Al Qaeda's ties with Iraq led to Iraq's being tied 
down by Al Qaeda. I see now that my bungled war on terror has created 
more terror, empowered Iran and made America less secure. Oh, yeah, 
and I'm sorry I broke the military.

I stained the family honor when I ignored the elders of the Iraq 
Study Group. I should not have worried that I would be seen as 
kowtowing to my dad's friends. The Oval Office is not the right place 
for a teenage rebellion.

I should not have picked that dimwit Brownie, and I should have 
trusted the gut of anyone besides that goof-off Chertoff to keep the 
nation safe. And what was I thinking when I said Harriet Miers should 
be a Supreme Court justice? That was loony. I'm sorry I made the 
surgeon general mention my name three times on every page of his 
speeches. That was childish.

How could I have let Dick bring in his best friend, Rummy, my dad's 
old nemesis? Dummy Rummy let Osama escape at Tora Bora, messed up the 
Iraq occupation and aborted a mission to wipe out top Al Qaeda 
leaders because he was protecting Musharraf, who was protecting Al 
Qaeda in the tribal areas. Even though I promised to get rid of 
dictators who helped terrorists, I ended up embracing a Pakistani 
dictator who helps terrorists.

I'm embarrassed that the Iraqi Parliament is taking a monthlong 
vacation in the middle of my surge. Could I have set a bad example 
when I rode my bike in Crawford while New Orleans drowned?

I'm sorry I keep pretending Iraq will get better if we stay longer. 
It wasn't very nice of me to push the surge when I knew it couldn't 
work. I just wanted to dump the defeat on my successor. I wish 
Hillary the best of luck.

If I had left the gym long enough to read about Algeria or even one 
of T. E. Lawrence's Seven Pillars of Wisdom, then I might have not 
gotten bogged down in Iraq and let North Korea, China and Russia 
slide.

Being the Decider is so confusing. I regret stealing the presidency 
and wish I could give it back.

"How I Look on My Mistakes," by Dick Cheney

Buzz off.
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