[Assam] ‘I Am An Assamese, A Bengali And A S ylheti. What Exactly Am I?’ Anurag Rudra'a write up appeared Tehelka

[Chan Mahanta]

Anurag's account is obviously not something to do with a psychiatric
condition. It is an expression of frustration, brought upon by the  
LANGUAGE based
conflicts in Assam. The context is hard to miss for anyone who cares  
to understand.

 >Today, I speak Assamese with dignity, and I feel proud to be called  
Asomiya, an Assamese. But when I ask myself what I am, what language  
makes me, I >never reply. Caught in the crossfire of la nguage and  
domicile, of my roots and memory, I vaguely reconcile myself to my  
homeless state. I am an Assamese, >a Bengali, and a Sylheti. What  
exactly am I, this dilemma of roots and languages? I have not been  
able to figure out even the smallest of answers.


*** Anurag's dilemma is caused by the problems he might face from his  
Oxomiya speaking
peers, if he exhibits ( not necessarily FLAUNT)  his Bengali speaking  
identity, something he
obviously grew up with and cherishes, but cannot express, for fear of  
some backlash, even reprisal.

*** Why so? Well, take a wild guess!


 >I am taken aback by the fact that Mr.Rudra has not been able to thrust
>
> a concrete shape to his identity even at this stage!!!


**** And   *I* am taken even more aback, by this exhibition of an   
inability to connect the dots!








On Jun 15, 2010, at 7:00 PM, kamal deka wrote:

> Could it be a perfect case of identity crisis,a term used in
> socio-psychological theory in which an individual loses a sense of
> personal sameness and historical continuity? The term was coined by
> the psychologist Erickson.It is a condition that occurs when a person
> experiences great difficulties in acquiring a clear perception of
> self.
>
> If you feel like you don't know the 'real you ', you may be
> experiencing an identity crisis. According to Erikson, an identity
> crisis is a time of intensive analysis and exploration of different
> ways of looking at oneself. Erikson's interest in identity began in
> childhood. Raised Jewish, Erikson appeared very Scandinavian, and felt
> that he was an outsider of both groups. His later studies of cultural
> life among the Yurok of northern California and the Sioux of South
> Dakota helped formalize Erikson's ideas about identity development and
> identity crisis.
>
> I am taken aback by the fact that Mr.Rudra has not been able to thrust
> a concrete shape to his identity even at this stage!!!
> KJD
>
>
> On Tue, Jun 15, 2010 at 4:41 PM, Ram Sarangapani <assamrs at gmail.com>  
> wrote:
>> Great assessment,  Mohan. You are absolutely correct in saying, you  
>> are what
>> you choose to be - ie. defining yourself. The write-up by Anurag is
>> well-written & from the heart, and most netters will be able to  
>> relate to
>> something or the other in what he wrote.
>>
>> But to more important questions: How did you grow bhaat kerela & ou  
>> tenga?
>> I don't think we have seen either of these in this area :-)
>>
>> Best of luck to Anurag, and hope to see more of his writings in  
>> future.
>>
>> --Ram
>>
>> On Tue, Jun 15, 2010 at 4:28 PM, Mohan Palleti <mpalleti at aol.com>  
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Anurag:
>>> This is beautifully written article. I liked the honest expression  
>>> about
>>> your feelings.
>>> I being a half telugu and a half assamese by birth, I could relate  
>>> very
>>> well with you. I lived in Assam as a young child and moved to  
>>> Hyderabad
>>> therafter. I had asked the same question to myself. What am I?
>>>
>>> The answer is very simple. You are what you choose to be. And in the
>>> process you do not have to forget where you came from. You set the  
>>> trend for
>>> the coming generations and you blend into a culture you choose to.
>>>
>>> We lived in Hyderabad since 1973, And yet our house was a  
>>> waterhole for a
>>> lot of Assamese folks who visited Hyderabad. My mother passed away  
>>> a few
>>> months ago. She was like a moher to a lot of young assamese folks  
>>> who live
>>> and work in Hyderabad.
>>>
>>> Although I have been living in the US for over a decade and speak 4
>>> different languages at home. I grow dhekia xaak, bhat kerela, ou  
>>> tenga in my
>>> garden and have loads of Khorisa  in my referigerator. It wont be  
>>> hard for
>>> you to guess what I consider myself to be.
>>>
>>> I hope you get to read this email.
>>>
>>> Cheers!
>>> Mohan Palleti
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Chan Mahanta <cmahanta at gmail.com <lt 
>>> %3Bcmahanta at gmail.com>>
>>> To: A Mailing list for people interested in Assam from around the  
>>> world &
>>> lt;assam at assamnet.org <lt%3Bassam at assamnet.org>>
>>> Sent: Tue, Jun 15, 2010 9:53 am
>>> Subject: Re: [Assam] ‘I Am An Assamese, A Bengali And A S ylheti.  
>>> What
>>> Exactly Am I?’ Anurag Rudra'a write up appeared Tehelka
>>>
>>> That is a believable, poignant story, Sushanta. Thanks for sharing.
>>>
>>> The indignities that young Anurag had to endure, hopefully, were  
>>> not in
>>> vain and his account,
>>> hopefully would help turn things for the better.
>>>
>>> Many of us in this forum have worn different shoes. And we too  
>>> wore the
>>> ones that
>>> Anurag had worn,at times of being a minority, foreign, alien etc.  
>>> and at
>>> times of a dominant
>>> group wearing the halo of being an indigenous. It has helped us  
>>> become
>>> fuller, better people.
>>> That said, I do realize that those of us in the US or other  
>>> counties with a
>>> rule of law have not, would not
>>> ( except as rare exceptions) have to undergo some of the more  
>>> blatant and
>>> overt acts
>>> of discrimination, bullying or even physical assaults that someone  
>>> in
>>> Anurag's shoes might have.
>>> That is where the rule-of-law plays a critical role, one that is  
>>> absent in
>>> Indian governance, not
>>> just Assam's, part of the dysfunctional state of desi-demokrasy as  
>>> I call
>>> it.
>>>
>>> I agree with MM's advice: To be positive and ASSERTIVE. He has no  
>>> reason to
>>> be
>>> confused about his many identities, much less be apologetic. Long  
>>> ago, I
>>> learned
>>> to choose my first and foremost identity to be the human one. My  
>>> many other
>>> identities
>>> fall into place, without conflict and without apologies!
>>>
>>> Pass this on to Anurag, if you can. I wish him all the best.
>>>
>>> c-da
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On Jun 14, 2010, at 12:05 PM, Sushanta Kar wrote:
>>>
>>> > Dear
>>> > Friends,
>>> > You will find this write up something interesting. Anurag is  
>>> a B.A
>>> > student
>>> > of Cotton College. By this time he has earned a well  
>>> reputation as a
>>> > poet in
>>> > English. Here he has raised a few question on the identity  
>>> crisis of
>>> > the
>>> > sylhetis of the state:
>>> >
>>> http://www.tehelka.com/story_main45.asp?filename=hub190610personalhistories.asp
>>>
>>> >
>>> > Sushanta Kar
>>> > _______________________________________________
>>> > assam mailing list
>>> > assam at assamnet.org
>>> > http://assamnet.org/mailman/listinfo/assam_assamnet.org
>>>
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