[Assam] Fwd: What a shame! YOUR Qs ANSWERED IN CAPS
Nayanjyoti Medhi
nayanjyoti.medhi at gmail.com
Sun Oct 15 00:19:33 PDT 2006
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Nayanjyoti Medhi <nayanjyoti.medhi at gmail.com>
Date: Oct 14, 2006 4:58 PM
Subject: Re: [Assam] What a shame! YOUR Qs ANSWERED IN CAPS
To: Chan Mahanta <cmahanta at charter.net>
Hello Chan Da
Sorry to bother you again. but i left out something which needs to be put on
the table too.
*****While I entirely agree with the latter above, I cannot imagine WHO or
WHY anyone, anyone at all, would wish to or attempt to either discourage
your involvement, much less* push you aside or throw you out*. *No one I
have ever known*, even the most stridently iconoclastic of NRAs I have
known, would do any such thing.* Well have you ever heard of someone called
mike mahanta. Well when i joined Assamnet for the first time he called me a
RAW agent. Do you know why he did that? Could you ask him if he knows me?
And if he doesn't then why he said that to me. At that point of time I
preferred to remain silent. Not because I could not say anything but because
I'm young and I do not want to antagonise my seniors. The society I live in
does not permit me to show disrespect to anyone. As far as I know Mike is
not a Assamese/Oxomiya name. Now tell me why this nick. Is somebody
embarrased to use the name his parents gave him/her. You have rightly said-"
*even the most stridently iconoclastic of NRAs I have known, would do any
such thing" *Thay won't. But this can be done by a resident
Assamese/Oxomiya. As he had done with me. Without knowing my antecedents he
had called me names. That is not proper. ( please refer to my first
communications to assamnet). anyways got to go now. *
**
*Regards*
*Nayan*
P.S: I will wait for a nice little (long) reply.
On 10/14/06, Chan Mahanta <cmahanta at charter.net> wrote:
>
> Hello Nayan:
>
>
> Greeting from St. Louis, in the heartland of America.
>
>
> Glad to make your acquaintance. Nice to know that you are a practising
> lawyer and that too in the high court. Often we play 'baam-ukil' here,
> without anyone being able help us with questions. Now we know we can speak
> to a real-life lawyer to help us out. Sorry, but I don't think we will be
> able to keep you on retainer :-).
>
>
>
>
> >Its not true that I/we have any disagreement with the political
> >viewpoint of anyone. Anyone can have his/her personal viewpoint on >any
> subject.
>
>
> *** Glad to know you realize it. I was almost afraid you too were in the
> same boat with Jyoti, from your note of support for his position.
>
>
> It is OK to have different views and not to agree with someone. But when
> we differ or oppose, we also have an obligation to explain why. Just telling
> someone that she is wrong, does not go anywhere. Because why discuss and
> debate is to try and persuade others, and not merely to assert our own
> righteousness. And it is patently rude to go attack someone personally,
> directly or indirectly for any heartburn that their views may cause us :-).
>
>
>
>
> >*But the very specific point that I would like to point out is that -
> >The wrong decisions that lead to the present socio political scenerio >of
> Assam/Asom/Axom..... were not taken by this present generation. *
>
>
> *** That is a loaded gun you aim here Nayan :-).
>
>
> A: What WRONG decision are you referring to? And WHO took
> those decisions?
>
>
> B: And if these decisions were taken by your 'pitamoh' (
> ancestors)
> :-), and they span generations, it tells me these might be
> societal
> problems that none of us can just wash-off saying you did not
> take part in it. I guess you could, but obviously to no avail.
> Would I
> be wrong to conclude that?
>
>
> *>So I think the remedy should also started by the same Generation who
> >took the right decisions to make this land Xonar Axom, and if they >can't
> then let us help.*
>
>
> *** IF the previous generation created these problems you refer to, why
> are they NOT helping resolve it? But more importantly, is your society being
> run by that previous generation only, or are you, the present generation, a
> part of that same society and thus a part of the solution?
>
>
> I ask, because I cannot imagine the adults of a society like yourselves
> can remain outside of solutions to their societal needs. If your previous
> generation is keeping yours outside of its governance, then YOU, my friend,
> need nothing less than a revolt to take your rightful place in running your
> present and shaping your future. And you all have no excuses for not being
> involved, if you live in the much touted 'liberal democracy' of India.
>
>
>
>
> >*In Assam net I have come across some great discussions and really >great
> ideas. And maybe this forum would go a long way in solving the >problems
> that persist in this land.*
>
>
> *** I know you say that because you want to be generous :-) to us netters.
> But if by some chance you are serious, then you are harboring extremely
> unrealistic expectations which will lead to nothing but damaging
> disappointments.
>
>
> On the other hand however, yes, this net can indeed facilitate a dialogue,
> a discussion and a debate in describing the issues and developing solution
> scenarios for what confronts Assam. Yes occasionally we might even be able
> to offer an idea or lend a helping hand. But you all in Assam alone can and
> will have to resolve your society's problems.
>
>
>
>
> >*But then nothing will happen if we are thrown out/discouraged, >because
> we are ones who will face tomorrow and will carry the torch >forward.*
>
>
>
>
> *** While I entirely agree with the latter above, I cannot imagine WHO or
> WHY anyone, anyone at all, would wish to or attempt to either discourage
> your involvement, much less* push you aside or throw you out*. No one I
> have ever known, even the most stridently iconoclastic of NRAs I have known,
> would do any such thing.
>
>
> That however, is entirely different from giving or withholding active
> support for whatever one may put forth.
>
>
> Not that you have brought this up, but you all must remember few very
> important thing about us ex-pats, because I can sense the underlying
> assumptions in the various exchanges of recent days:
>
>
> Even though we lead a reasonably comfortable and secure life, by
> and large, our sense of vulnerability is far higher than the
> average, because few if any of us have had the safety net of
> an extended family and friends unlike our counterparts back in
> Assam do. Therefore most of us immigrants, have always had
> to weigh our involvement in whatever we do against how it
> might impact our financial security. But it will change as our
> children
> grow up, raise their families and they become independent.
>
>
> The above is exactly why you see so few entrepreneurs amongst us.
> Most
> of us are wage earners, but with a degree of security that comes
> with it.
>
>
> There is a major misconception amongst our friends and families
> in Assam that us NRAs are hugely wealthy. Yes a few may be, but so
> few that it could not be applied as a rule. They are reasonably
> set, but by no means wealthy by local standards. As such it is
> unrealistic to expect large or significant charitable outlays
> from them. A couple of hundred dollars for this and that is
> different.
> But to expect large outlays, even for eminently worthwhile causes
> is simply unrealistic.
>
>
> Time too is a precious commodity. It was more so when our children
> were growing up and both parents were/are in the work-force. You
> would not believe what we went thru with pre-school childcare
> issues in our younger days. Therefore I can empathize with what
> others are going thru now.
>
>
> Ours also is a small community. We all have held the same ideals
> as you younger folks do now about helping others. And we continue
> to do that, but with a more mature and realistic approach. The
> bright-eyed optimism of unfettered young adults in prosperous
> societies with security and safety ready to change the face of
> Assam with our new found empowerment soon gave way to the stark
> realities of raising a family and securing their futures. We
> attempted to do so many different things for Assam! I personally
> led a number efforts at raising funds for charitable work, some
> right here in Assamnet, sometimes inviting taunts and
> boos from some of our less gifted compatriots :-). But one thing
> I quickly found out was that this small group of NRAs is NOT
> like a well that could never dry up.
> People give once, twice and may even three times. But comes a time
> only the complete fool will keep approaching the same people,
> again
> and again. The well does dry up.
>
>
> The lesson here is this: Charity will not deliver Assam to the promised
> land. Assam must create the opportunities for itself by managing its above
> average resources for ALL its people. It is the only way!
>
>
> To that end good luck and god-speed to you all. And do count on us to lend
> a hand when we can, in areas we can.
>
>
> Best,
>
>
> dada
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> At 10:23 PM +0530 10/13/06, Nayanjyoti Medhi wrote:
>
> Mahanta Da,
>
>
>
> *** It is not a secret that yours, Jyoti's, Nayan's , Rajib's and a lot
> many others' angst in assamnet is rooted in your disagreements with the
> political viewpoints of those such as yours truly.* --------Its not true
> that I/we have any disagreement with the political viewpoint of anyone.
> Anyone can have his/her personal viewpoint on any subject. But the very
> specific point that I would like to point out is that - The wrong decisions
> that lead to the present socio political scenerio of Assam/Asom/Axom.....
> were not taken by this present generation. So I think the remedy should also
> started by the same Generation who took the right decisions to make this
> land Xonar Axom, and if they can't then let us help. In Assam net I have
> come across some great discussions and really great ideas. And maybe this
> forum would go a long way in solving the problems that persist in this land.
> But then nothing will happen if we are thrown out/discouraged, because we
> are ones who will face tomorrow and will carry the torch forward. Dada, let
> the people unite, remove the generation gap. Then maybe someday ..........
> *
>
>
>
>
>
>
> *Regards*
>
>
>
> *Nayan*
>
>
>
>
>
> On 10/13/06,* Chan Mahanta* <cmahanta at charter.net> wrote:
>
> Hi Momy:
>
>
>
>
> Thanks for your response. I am delighted to see a young Oxomiya woman
> holding her ground and providing leadership and courage to others like Jyoti
> Das and Nayan Medhi for example in a forum such as assamnet. That is MY
> kind of an Oxomiya; courageous, proud and willing to take a stand for what
> she believes in :-). So all powers to you Momy.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Having said that, I think it is important to point out out what was wrong
> about the OPINIONS that you delivered in your farewell note/s:
>
>
>
>
> *** First off, your disappointments about assamnetters and assamnet were
> indeed rooted on an unexpressed assumption that it is a forum which* ought
> to* discuss
>
> *only* projects and issues such as what you hold dear, to the exclusion of
> issues that others might find more interesting. No doubt yours and others'
> like yourself who expressed such sentiments are GOOD and laudable
> issues/projects.
>
> But it does not mean, in any way shape or form, that other issues could
> not or should not be pursued at the same time.
>
>
>
>
> *** It is not a secret that yours, Jyoti's, Nayan's , Rajib's and a lot
> many others' angst in assamnet is rooted in your disagreements with the
> political viewpoints of those such as yours truly. You, just like anybody
> else here, are entitled to your views. But it would have been better if you
> could express that forthrightly, instead of finding other reasons to vent
> your frustrations. That is what I alluded to as the "Urohi gosor wr onyo
> korbaat", which roughly translated means that the real root of the
> disappointments are different from what was presented as.
>
>
>
>
> *** Your assumptions about the 'older generation' of expatriate Oxomiyas
> as a self-centered lot, unwilling to help others is a rather shallow and
> ignorant one. It is a typically unenviable Indian/Kharkhowa trait of making
> broad brush
>
> judgements about a whole class of people based on scanty sampling.
>
>
>
>
> *** What *I* do or have done, either as charity or as public service, is
> MY business. I don't need anybody's approval or judgement about its
> adequacy. Besides, it is neither about ME, nor you, nor Rini Kakati, whom
> you have singled out as a villain :-). That is why I shall not speak about
> it here.
>
>
>
>
> *** It is also true that as laudable as charitable efforts are, they are
> merely
>
> outlets for salving one's guilt, and are inadequate vehicles for improving
> Assam's lot.
>
>
>
>
> Personally I have no need to resort to charitable efforts to soothe my
> feelings of guilt. The burden of my guilt is far less than most I know. But
> I have nothing against those who do.
>
>
>
>
> *** I do have a right to use the words I do to characterize opinions of
> others, including 'naive', just as you do. But I use words judiciously and
> carefully, and only when I can back them up.
>
>
>
>
> If you would like to know why I used the word naive, let me know, I will
> be pleased to explain :-).
>
>
>
>
> >NOT TRYING TO PROVE ANYTHING.
>
>
>
>
> *** Not true. The haughtiness with which you dismissed assamnet, and thus
> its many participants, was a poor display of your own self-importance and
> self-image. While you are entitled to it, others don't need to accept it
> without a word :-).
>
>
>
>
> >I won't go into details now(YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME IF YOU WANT TO), but
> if you >would like for me to, I will be pleased to take them up for
> discussion at a >later time.(WHY PRIVATE..IT STARTED IN A PUBLIC FORUM, KEEP
> IT THAT WAY)>
>
>
>
>
> *** I don't get into private debates about public issues.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> >(TALK AND TALK AND TALK SO THAT BY THE TIME I AM OF YOUR AGE, I WILL
> SHARE MY >OPINION WITH A YOUNGER MEMBER IN THE EXACT SAME WAY AS YOU HAVE
> DONE).
>
>
>
>
> *** Discussions/debates and action are not mutually exclusive of each
> other. Both can happen at the same time. Assamnet is NOT an action group,
> never has been, never will be. So if you came here with the expectation that
> it will be a platform for launching ACTIONS, while entirely possible ( I
> have personally led such efforts in the past and more than once), is not at
> all a given and not a realistic expectation. That *I* have learnt from my
> nearly 12 years in assamnet. But the difference between you and I is that I
> did NOT leave in a huff, because I could not interest others in what I
> consider worthwhile or important. *When I failed, it was due to my
> inability to communicate and persuade.* And when we succeeded ( yes we did
> too) it was because others did participate and contribute.
>
>
>
>
> That is what I and Ram too attempted to point out to you, but
> unsuccessfully. No doubt because you already knew everything you needed to
> :-) about assamnet.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> >WELL THAN POINT ME TOWARDS THE RIGHT DIRECTION, DONT ASK ME TO ARGUE,
> DEBATE >AND DISCUSS)
>
>
>
>
> *** It is not my place to teach someone like you Momy.I was merely
> attempting to point out what was missing from your assessments and verdicts.
> I do however serve as a teacher to those who learn from what I point out,
> just as all those others from whom *I* have learnt so much over a decade
> and more.
>
>
>
>
> *In fact I can, without any hesitation what-so-ever, declare that I have
> learnt MORE about Assam (and India too) from this forum than anywhere else
> in my entire life, in-spite of the fact that I grew up in what is
> essentially Assam's heartland. And I know I am the better for it. *
>
>
>
>
> *Assamnet is, without a doubt, the most important forum for Assam and the
> Oxomiya identity that has developed in this IT age. And the credit for it
> goes to Prof. Jugal Kalita,Prof. Deep Medhi and the people who contribute to
> its existence and expansion thru their participation. *
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> >AND AM NOT AT THE LEAST INTERESTED IN ALL YOUR OPINIONS ABOUT ME ( ESP.
> MR >MAHANTA)..
>
>
>
>
> *** But the opinions that *I* have expressed are a RESULT of the
> opinions that you expressed and implied Momy. I do not go about finding
> ways to express opinions of others in this net or anywhere else. But I do
> speak out when I find reasons to take issue with others'.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Another long one here. Nice to have spoken to you. Wish you the best on
> all your efforts, personal as well as societal.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> cm
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> At 4:19 PM +0100 10/12/06, Momy Saikia wrote:
>
> Hi Momy (HELLO MR MAHANTA):
>
>
> I was disappointed to read your note on the disappointments of your
> own (YOU SHOULD BE AND EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T APPRAISE AN
> YOUTH'S OPINION).
>
> Allow me to share a little observation of mine, with the hope that
> you will take a moment of your precious time to ponder(I ALWAYS HAVE TIME
> FOR ANY CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM AS ITS ONE OF THE REASONS BEHIND MY
> DEVELOPMENT):
> Expectations is the mother of all disappointments!" (WELL IF YOU ASK
> ME...EXPECTATION IS THE MOTHER OF ACHIEVEMENT)..... Is it catchy or
> what? (ITS DEGRADING THE TERM FOR ME SO NOT CATCHY AT ALL SIR) Remember
> you heard it here first :-)( I NEVER HEARD OF IT AND EVEN IF I DID, I
> WOULDN'T MAKE SENSE OF IT BECAUSE THESE PROVERBS ARE OUTCOME OF SOMEONE'S
> EXPERIENCE NOT MINE).
>
>
>
> The point is that you had expectations of assamnetters (NEVER DID, THATS
> YOUR PRESSUMPTION); does not matter if they are realistic, meaningful,
> useful, or otherwise(ANY INTELLIGENT BEING WOULD AGREE THAT TAKING AN ACTION
> TO HELP SOMEONE ISN'T UNREALISTIC, NON MEANINGFULL OR USELESS). And since
> those were not met (TRUE), you are leaving the forum (LEAVING THE FORUM
> BECAUSE, I WOULD RATHER INVEST TIME IN ACTIONS THAN DISCUSSIONS WHICH LEADS
> ME NOWHERE BUT RESULTS IN RESENTMENT TOWARDS DIFFERENT PEOPLE OR GOVT IN THE
> END), in a huff (WELLCOME TO THE 21st CENTURY, IF YOU NEED SOMETHING DONE
> THAN DO IT NOW),
>
> waving your own virtues(CAUSE I BELIEVE IN THEM UNLIKE MOST OF YOU),
> imagined or real(ABSOLUTELY REAL AND SO I AM ABLE TO PUT THEM INTO ACTIONS),
> for others to see and go (ACTUALLY TO IRK MINDS LIKE YOU...THE POSITIVE
> OUTCOME OF MY MAIL IS THAT SOME PEOPLE HAVE MAILED ME IN PERSON OFFERING
> HELP TO BUILD A SITE...BUT YOU AGAIN TOOK TIME TO WRITE ME A PAGE FULL OF
> YOUR OPINION ABOUT ME AND WANTING A DEBATE OUT OF IT) ( --Wow! What a young
> lady of action she is (SURE I AM, ELSE I WOULDN'T HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO
> POINT AT THE "WORDS ONLY" GROUP).
>
>
>
> But I understand ( I SERIOUSLY HOPE YOU DO). Most do(AGAIN I CAN HOPE THAT
> THEY DO). We have seen them all here (THIS COULD ONLY MEAN TO ME THAT YOU
> HAVE BEEN POSTING YOUR OPINIONS ON THIS SITE SINCE IT FIRST STARTED). Good
> news (NOT REALLY CAUSE YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME)
> however is that you are young (JUST 25, LOT OF EXPECTATIONS YET), and
> hopefully still open to learning (I WOULDN'T BE DEVELOPING IF I WASNT OPEN
> TO LEARNING)
>
> new tricks unlike some old us old dogs (DONOT EVER HUMILIATE
> YOURSELF...NO ONE CALLS YOU THAT , I AM SURE) . And it is NOT a beauty
> contest (I DO UNDERSTAND SIR, SEEKING HELP FROM YOU GUYS TO HELP OTHERS
> ISN'T A THOUGHT OF A BEAUTY ONLY...BEAUTY+BRAINS) here -- to prove what a
> hot-s--t one is or not (NOT TRYING TO PROVE ANYTHING..DO READ MY MAIL ONCE
> MORE) :-).
>
>
>
> New tricks? (TRICKS???THOUGHT I WAS STRAIGHT FORWARD) Indeed. You have
> shown how naive(WITH ALL DUE RESPECT SIR, INSPITE OF YOUR AGE YOU HAVE NO
> RIGHT TO USE "SUCH" WORDS AGAINST ME) you are about some of your assumptions
> (ASSUMPTIONS GET YOU STARTED WITH ANY PROBLEM), beliefs ( CAUSE I BELEIVE IN
> THEM) and expectations(TO BE ABLE TO ACHIEVE, I NEED TO EXPECT), from the
> few notes you posted here(FEW BUT SUBSTANTIAL). I won't go into details
> now(YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME IF YOU WANT TO), but if you would like for me to,
> I will be pleased to take them up for discussion at a later time.(WHY
> PRIVATE..IT STARTED IN A PUBLIC FORUM, KEEP IT THAT WAY)>
>
> But that is nothing new (YOUR OPINION AGAIN SIR). You are not alone in
> your naivete (I WOULD BE GLAD IF YOU ARE NOT ONE OF MY KIND THAN). We have
> all been there(HAVE YOU??NOT REALLY OR ELSE YOU WON'T BE STILL A MEMBER OF
> THE FORUM). Again good news is that we can shed them(NO INTENSIONS OF
> SHEDDING MY QUALITIES). How? Yes, by talking(TALK AND TALK AND TALK SO THAT
> BY THE TIME I AM OF YOUR AGE, I WILL SHARE MY OPINION WITH A YOUNGER MEMBER
> IN THE EXACT SAME WAY AS YOU HAVE DONE). By
> debating, discussing and deliberating and by paying attention(I DON'T HAVE
> TIME FOR PROLONGED DISCUSSIONS OR DEBATES).
>
> You may ask: But isn't that a waste of time? Aren't you guys just blowing
> air, accomplishing NOTHING? (THERE YOU GO..SEE YOU FINALLY KNOW ME BETTER)
>
> Well, it would be, IF that is ALL we do (YOU WOULD KNOW BETTER).
>
> See Momy, discussing and debating the issues we do, is NOT mutually
> exclusive of doing something concrete(WHICH I QUITE WELL UNDERSTOOD EVEN
> BEFORE YOU MENTIONED).
>
>
> That is what you fail to recognize(MAYBE, THANK U FOR TAKING THE EFFORT TO
> MAKE ME REALISE). Again, no harm done. You have a lot of time to learn(I
> AGREE WITH YOU THERE).
>
> Many netters do many things--for their own betterment and for others' too.
> Not all talk of their actions or contributions. And besides, there is ALWAYS
> a whole lot more to the persona of these people than what their posts in
> assamnet may indicate. It will do you good to be aware of that(PLEASE MAKE
> ME AWARE OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE SO FAR AS YOU CLAIM TO BE OLD ..YOU HAVE HAD
> YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD).
>
> What is important to recognize however, is that those who know better, or
> are expected to know better--people like yourselves, cannot and must not
> remain smug in your own righteousness, your self-image of a person of
> action, like you assert(WELL THAN POINT ME TOWARDS THE RIGHT DIRECTION, DONT
> ASK ME TO ARGUE, DEBATE AND DISCUSS). For if you do, you will be NO
> DIFFERENT from those who you perceive, albeit on scant and superficial
> evidence of assamnet posts, to be mere hot-air blowers, or having little to
> contribute towards what YOU consider meaningful. What is meaningful can come
> in many, many forms(JUST AN EXAMPLE FROM YOU IS WHAT I AM REQUESTING
> FOR..BESIDES I CLEARLY MENTIONED TWO CATEGORIES IN MY CONCLUDING
> LINE..PLEASE READ IT).
>
> Another thing is that, we know, often a new member would leave in a huff,
> because netters' criticisms/comments hurt their sense of what they hold
> dear(I BELEIVE IN MYSELF AND SOME INDIVIDUAL WHO IS VIRTUALLY KNOW TO ME
> JUST CANT HURT ME WITH WORDS..IT WILL TAKE YOU LOT MORE): Often myths
> associated with their realities or their beliefs (AGAIN FIRM BELEIEFS). And
> being unable or unwilling to articulate a defense of their own values and
> views, they would cite others' 'egos' or pro-this or anti-that or
> full-of-hot-air-ness(NOT ME...BUT YOUR MAIL COULD BE A CLASSIC EXAMPLE).
> This is the quintessential "Urohi-gosor-wrtw-onyo-korbat" syndrome(TAR MANE
> NUBUJILU). There is only one cure for it: SPEAK UP, defend what you
> believe(I ALWAYS DO CAUSE I HAVE NO FEAR OR SECOND THOUGHTS..I AM CONFIDENT
> AND ALWAYS SPEAK OF THINGS I CAN DEFEND IF NECESSARY). You will be
> surprised, that you CAN educate others(I KNOW THAT). And we will all be the
> better for it.
>
> Gave you an earful, didn't I :-)?(I CAN ABSORB MORE BUT DONT'T MAKE IT A
> HABBIT)
>
> Take care(U TOO), and whether you return to assamnet or not,(I WON'T AFTER
> TODAY) all the best to you and yours(AND TO YOU SIR).
>
>
>
> cm(MOMY)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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